I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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