glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
