i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
