I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Come see our sink grown plant.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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