Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
