if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
