If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
