hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
