you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
