Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
