come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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