and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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