I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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