Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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