I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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