my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
