Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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