I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
