Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
