On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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