Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This is classic penis vs brain.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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