Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Are we in a gay sports bar?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
