I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
