I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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