U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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