We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
