I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think I have vodka in my lungs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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