i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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