normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
accomplished twins. life is a go
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
