If i come over, it means nothing
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
