no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
