How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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