he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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