if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
