shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
