We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize