mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize