i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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