JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
