i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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