YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
