is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
