It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
