i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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