well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
