I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
