so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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