ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
