wat bout pragnant strippers??
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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