I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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