Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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