I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
