ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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