Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
