The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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