how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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