Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
