what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
