Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
